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June 22 2013

[GP] my edit
so this is my informal grad pic. I wanted the studio to edit it like this: [link] unfortunately, they weren't able to achieve that and i looked like a vampire instead :| DKSJ,NFS,NCKJASJ,NKA so i had to edit it my way.
TenMoves Engg
Tenmoves Engg had so much potential :( It's too bad it was poorly managed :(

April 03 2012

[POSTER] Langhap Saya 1
for langhap saya
[POSTER] prime ball
golden mask stock by [link]
i've been away from da for so long that i can't even credit properly T-T
[POSTER]VOICE Recruitment
pub for voice
[POSTER] Langhap Saya 2
[TICKET] CE Grad Dinner
ticket design

April 01 2012

[POSTER] cegraddinner
for CE grad dinner

November 20 2011

the cat was sleepy and winked at meedited in PS to brighten colors.
the cat is not camera shy.edited in PS to adjust colors.

October 30 2011

SJ PSD brightenup
turns faded colors to brighter ones.

September 25 2011

Bipolar 004
model: my sisterphotographer : me
Bipolar 003
model: my sisterphotographer: me
Bipolar 002
model: mephotographer: my sister
Bipolar 001
model: mephotographer: my sistertaken during sunsetjust across our street

August 23 2011

[fic] At the Zenith (Team AU)

Title: At the Zenith
Author: [info]pinefir
Team: AU
Fandom: SNSD
Pairing: friendship!Sooyoung/Yoona/Sica, Siwon/Sooyoung, Sungmin/Sooyoung, Siwon/Tiffany, Sumgin/Seohyun
Summary: Sooyoung may be a princess but her fucked up birth left her feeling like a clown, but she is just too pretty to be a clown though, and so in a moment, she becomes a doll.
Author's Note: Drama, Angst, supernatural themes, suggested incest, implied suicide.
Prompt Used: Lucifer-SHINee

They say she was meant to be banished, born when Lucifer was at its zenith; she was never meant to be accepted and never meant to be loved the way she wanted to be loved. She was born not to enjoy life and its perks but hate it and make others see the not so pleasant side of life. She was the light-bearer, the Lucifer who’s going to show the world how disgusting life is and how low people have become. That’s why she can never be loved and never be appreciated; because honestly, who would want to love the daughter of the devil?

Because devils were once angels, it is only right to assume that she was not entirely evil. She was once good, once fit to be called a man’s woman, but now she isn’t. She takes it as an insult to be owned by some mere man because she knows just how wicked and corrupted man could be. It’s laughable, how she’s being self-righteous and picky in men; but she knows she doesn’t want some scum of the earth to hold her.

But life doesn’t work that way. Life never works the way she wants it to, and Choi Sooyoung finds it the hard way.

They say with death a new life starts. For Sooyoung, with her father’s death her new life starts. It was a stormy night, and Sooyoung should have known that something bad was going to happen, but how was a six-year-old girl like her, who never had the chance to get a proper education, know of premonition and bad feelings? They were on their way home, her father just finished work in the farm and they’ve just returned from the granary. Sooyoung was sitting on the back of the cow while her father pulled on its yoke. She was listening to her father’s story about her mother and she really could not care less about the raindrops that managed to get through the cracks of her leaf-umbrella, when her father suddenly stopped.

“Appa?” she asks, her father seems to be talking to someone she cannot recognized. The man was dressed in a black petticoat; it must be one of the foreign settlers in their village she thought. She was about to climb down the cow’s back when her father stops her.

“Sooyoung, just stay there,” he says and Sooyoung remains rooted in her seat, hoping that the evil-looking man won’t do something bad. But even if she prayed hard, nothing would change the fact that nothing really ever goes her way and it was one of those many nights that her prayers didn’t work because before she knew it her father was down on the muddy road and the man has disappeared.

Sooyoung sat staring, wondering about what just happened. “Appa,” she calls out softly. No answer. She climbs down the cow, but she falls into the mud because it was just too high for her but she doesn’t mind because she has to get to her father fast.

“Appa, appa,” she shakes her father awake as she kneels down beside him. “Appa...”


“Sooyoung-ssi,” Yoona, her most trusted attendant, shakes her awake. She bolts upward a bit confused, was she dreaming again? She looks at Yoona who was currently fixing her dresser, and then she stretches, shaking the sleep away from her limbs.

“That dream again?” Yoona asks her as she pulls the covers off Sooyoung. Sooyoung only grunts in response. They both know what dream it was. “Aww, come here unnie,” Yoona says as she makes Sooyoung lean into her chest. Yoona runs her fingers in her hair, whispering soothing words in her ear and Sooyoung only wraps her hands around her waist.

“Do you feel better now?” Yoona asks her and she nods in response. “Good,” she says and she kisses the tip of Sooyoung’s nose. “Now go wash yourself up, your father’s looking for you.”

“Yoona told me that you’ve been having dreams,” her father, no, her father was long dead, the man who she has taken to calling as father asked her as she sat herself in the dining room. She glances at Yoona who was currently serving her ‘brother’.

Sooyoung shakes her head. “No, father, they’re nothing. I can manage.” Her brother laughs, and she turns to look at him. “Is something amusing you?”

“Nothing much,” he says, his dimpled smile mocking her. She narrows her eyes at him. “It’s just that, I was wondering how you could possibly seduce the Daejang’s son with how you look.”

Sooyoung bites her lips, willing herself not to pay Siwon any heed. He’s always been a bastard, in every sense of the word, to her.

“Siwon, stop needling your sister,” her father says before Sooyoung could even lash out. “Anyways, I’ll be out for the rest of the day, I don’t want to see you two at each other’s throat when I come home.”

Siwon was two years older than Sooyoung, he was the only son of Jungjang Choi and he was considered as one of the most eligible bachelors in the country. Everybody looked up to him and everyone thinks he takes after his father. Everyone except Sooyoung , of course. Underneath the discipline and charm Siwon seems to exude, is a rotten man. She was sure of that fact, after all she’s seen just how cruel he can be.

“I haven’t seen your whore around here,” Sooyoung comments as soon as their father leaves the dining room, leaving the two of them alone. “Did she finally realize how much of a keeper you are?” she smirks at him.

“Are you jealous?” Siwon asks, hands falling over hers and she is quick to retract them. “Wish you could’ve been the one I was pounding into relentlessly?”

“You’re sick, Choi Siwon,” she spats out and moves to get out of the room when Siwon suddenly pulls her against him. His hands resting just above the small of her back as he buries his nose into the crook of her neck.

“I love you, you know that,” he says softly, his tone different from before as he hugs her tighter and whether or not Sooyoung likes it, she can’t help the walls she built around her crumble as she breathes in Siwon’s scent. “I’m fucking in love with you,” he says as he releases his hold on her and cups her cheek. “Look at me.”

She doesn’t look at him, she looks at anywhere but him, but Siwon starts kissing a trail down her neck. “Siwon,” she pushes him away. Siwon stops, looking at her in askance. “We’ve got to stop doing this okay.”

“Sooyoung,” Siwon starts. “You don’t have to do this you know, we can be together.”

“Funny of you to say that when you seem to be the one who doesn’t want us to be together at all.”

Sooyoung thought she loved Siwon as a brother, and she cannot be blamed. After all, it was Jungjang Choi and his son who found her lying on top of her father’s lifeless body in the middle of the road. She can still clearly remember the way Siwon held her close to him, young as he was, when they were on their way to the Jungjang’s house.

Siwon was always there for her, always ready to play the big brother role even if they weren’t related. He was very supportive; he never wants her to get hurt.

“Sooyoung, take my hand,” he would always say.

“Sooyoung, don’t leave my side.”

“Sooyoung, just stick with me, I’ll protect you.”

Before Sooyoung met Yoona, no one held her through the all her nightmares but Siwon. He would climb into bed with her when she starts crying and he would hug her. That’s what he would do every time, and over time, they didn’t know if they were doing something wrong. They thought it was all for the sake of comfort, when Siwon started kissing her, touching her in places she herself has never touched before. She didn’t hate him for it, she actually started liking him more for it because what he was doing to her, was making her feel good about herself.

“Sooyoung, forget about Daejang Lee’s son,” Siwon says as he caresses Sooyoung’s cheeks. “You don’t need to follow father’s order. Look, let me take care of him.” Sooyoung turns away from him and starts walking, hoping that he wouldn’t follow her. “Sooyoung!” he calls again but she is already running away from him. He runs after her, but he slows down. Sooyoung always do this to him, lure him in and then run away far from him. Even if Daejang Lee’s son is his rival, he was sure he wouldn’t wish this loop on him.

Sooyoung didn’t dare look back as she made a run for the library’s garden. It’s always been like this, Siwon tells her he loves her and she runs away because she has no reason to stay. She doesn’t know how to respond to that. She sits herself on the wooden swing near the mugunghwa shrubs as she tries to catch her breath. Siwon always tells her that she doesn’t need to make Daejang Lee’s son fall in love with her and that he’d take care of everything, but she doesn’t know if what he’s saying is true. She’s met Dajang Lee’s son, he was nice to her and it would be really devastating if she was the one who would destroy him; she just couldn’t take it. She didn’t want someone’s death or misfortune upon her, but if she didn’t do it then it would only mean betraying the person who’s looked after her when no one else would. If Siwon was true to his words, he would tell his father of her predicament, he would also tell his father that he is in love with her. But Siwon never tells, and Sooyoung is always inclined to think that maybe, Siwon is just playing her. Her thoughts get interrupted when she hears a clearing of throat from behind her, it was her attendant, Yoona.

“Choi gongjuneun, Jung gongjuneun is here,” Yoona announces. Sooyoung turns around to face her and sees the Jung princess, her best friend, Sooyeon standing right behind Yoona, she breaks out into a smile and immediately hugs Sooyeon.

“Ahh!!! Sooyeon!” Sooyoung says as she peppers her best friend’s face with kisses. “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you!” she says, releasing her hold on Sooyeon.

Sooyeon chuckles and pinches Sooyoung’s face. “Yah! Choi Sooyoung I missed you too! Why is Yoong like that?” she asks and the said girl bows her head in embarrassment. Sooyoung laughs and then pulls Yoona into their hug.

“Yah, Yoona! You act like we aren’t friends!” Sooyoung chides Yoona as Sooyeon hugs Yoona.

Yoona smiles sheepishly before answering. “I thought you forgot about me.”

“Sunkyu, I’m disappointed in you,” Sunkyu’s father says disapprovingly as Sunkyu sits herself in her chair for a late breakfast. She was a bit surprised that her father was still there, didn’t he have a meeting with Daejang Choi? She takes a look around the table and she is again surprised to find her twin brother there, wasn’t he supposed to do his training?

“I apologize, appa, for being late for breakfast,” she says as she bows her head before saying her thanks to Taeyeon, their attendant.

“You shouldn’t be late again next time,” her father replies. “Taeyeon couldn’t wake you up, she was so worried. But that’s actually not what I’m disappointed about.”

Sunkyu shoots Sungmin a confused look, Sungmin only returns it with a frown.

“I’m disappointed that you forgot your cousin’s arrival,” her father finally says when he sees that neither knows what he’s talking about. Sungmin makes an o with his mouth and Sunkyu resists the urge to roll her eyes.

“Then where is she now?” Sunkyu asks, mindful of her tone lest her father takes it as a sign of disrespect.

“Gallivanting with her friends of course, just because her kin can’t welcome her,” her father shots back. “What would Sooyeon’s father say of us? Surely, you didn’t get such treatment when you had to pay her a visit, did you , Sunkyu?” Sunkyu shakes her head, a bit ashamed of what her father accuses her of. “Go, hurry up, you should head to Jungjang Choi’s house. You’d be lucky if Soojung is still there and hasn’t been whisked away by her friends. “ Sunkyu mentally tsks but quickens her pace. She then stops eating, having lost appetite for a late lunch because of what her father just said.

“Father,” Sungmin speaks up from beside her. “You wouldn’t mind me accompanying Sunkyu-noona to the Choi’s right?” Daejang Lee narrows his eyes at his son, thinking of what he could possibly gain from this, when he remembers just who Jungjang Choi’s daughter was; a smile lights up his face and Sunkyu glares at Sungmin for even suggesting his company. Having Sungmin with them would only mean staying for far too long in the Choi’s residence.

“Of course, you can Sungmin.”

“No father, don’t.”

“And why should I not allow him, Sunkyu?” her father challenges her and she could see Sungmin smirk at her smugly.

“Nothing father,” Sunkyu backs down.

“Well, then, I’ll get the carriage ready for you two.”

“You don’t need to, father,” Sungmin says. “I’ll be going there on horse,” he says as he smiles at his father like the suck up Sunkyu thinks he is. She rolls her eyes at him, he is so eager to see that girl.
“I’ll be going there with my maids,” she informs her father as she calls for Taeyeon to step forward.

“Maids?” Sungmin echoes. “You only have one,” he says as he points to Taeyeon who bows.

“I’ll be bringing Yuri along too if you don’t mind, father,” she says, completely ignoring Sungmin.

“That would be ideal,” her father consents. “After all, I do have some pastries and sweets for the young lady Choi, such an exceptional young girl that Sooyoung is,” her father smiles at that and for the nth time that day, Sunkyu rolls her eyes again. Before she could retort however, her brother speaks up.

“I’ll do it,” he volunteers. “I’ll hand it to her.” His father smiles back at him and pats him on the shoulder.

“You know what, Sungmin,you really are my son,” he says as he stands up and leaves the room with Sungmin, completely forgetting about Sunkyu.

Sunkyu glares at the two who just upped and left her, in times like these, she seriously wonders what has gotten them so interested in that girl and so eager to have her in their family. If she was to be asked, she’d rather have Chunjang Seo’s daughter Joohyun as a sister-in-law. But then, if that Choi girl was who Sungmin wanted to marry, then she can’t do anything about it. Unless of course, that girl was bound to have some dirty laundry to air; unfortunately, knowing the Choi’s, she’s probably as clean as they want everybody to think. Well then, Sunkyu thinks and smiles as she recalls something that her grandmother said, an unwashed garment hidden from the view stinks more than one left for the sundry. Maybe it was time for some cleaning in the Choi’s, she chuckles and pats herself mentally for a great pun made as she raised her hand to beckon to Taeyeon.

“Father must have forgotten about my carriage,” she softly speaks to her servant. “Go and tell the stablemen, and pick Yuri along your way too. Have them ready as soon as possible, I don’t like waiting, you do know that, right Taeyeon-ah?” Taeyeon could only nod in response as she shuffles out of the dining hall.

“So, how is it going with Siwon-oppa?” Sooyeon asks Sooyoung as soon as Yoona is out of hearing range. Even though the three are as close as they can get, there are things that the other one must not know. Yoona doesn’t know about Siwon and Sooyeon doesn’t know of her nightmares and what she’s about to do. It was fair for both of them , Sooyoung thinks; besides, she is sure that there are secrets between Yoona and Sooyeon that she doesn’t know about either.

Sooyoung sighs, watching as Yoona disappears behind the garden’s doors. “Why don’t you go ask him?” she snaps, bitter about being reminded of her brother.

“You didn’t have to be so mean,” Sooyoeon frowns at her as she tucks in a mugunghwa blossom behind Sooyoung’s left ear. “Smile, Soo,” she says as she raises Sooyoung’s face and pecks her on the lips. Sooyoung smiles and she suddenly feels guilty and apologetic towards Sooyeon.

“I’m sorry,” Sooyoung says. “I didn’t mean to.”

“I know,” Sooyeon says as she affectionately combs through Sooyoung’s hair. “What did he do now?”

Sooyoung shrugs and lays herself on Sooyeon’s lap. A part of her wants to tell Sooyeon about Siwon and the girl he is currently seeing but her respect for the girl gets in the way.

“Come on, tell me.”

“It’s nothing, I’m just tired, that’s all,” she says as she closes her eyes hoping that Sooyeon wouldn’t pursue the issue.

If there was a person that could describe Sooyoung perfectly well aside from Siwon and Yoona, it would probably be Sooyeon. It was weird though, because they never spent too much time together, but to Sooyeon, she is an open book. Sooyeon always knows even if she wasn’t even there in the first place. She also knows when to and not to press Sooyoung.

“Okay,” she says and then all of a sudden she hears snoring. She looks down at Sooyoung on her lap and tries not to chuckle. Just how much does she want to forget what Siwon does to her for her to feign sleep like this, Sooyeon thinks. She sees Yoona come in through the garden gates with food on hand, and Sooyeon wonders if Yoona knows.

“Soo doesn’t snore,” Yoona says as she settles down beside Sooyeon. Sooyeon only nods. Yoona looks at her and wonders what they’ve been talking about.

“She doesn’t?” Sooyeon asks with a chuckle. “Didn’t seem like the person that would not snore,” she says making Yoona laugh.

“She is a heavy sleeper though,” Yoona replies as she looks down at Sooyoung who was sleeping on Sooyeon’s lap. “I can’t wake her up sometimes, only Siwon could wake her up easily,” she adds.

“I see...,” Sooyeon says .””I’ve never really thought about it, but Siwon and Sooyoung must be pretty close right?”

“Yes, yes they are,” Yoona answers, at times they could be too close, she thinks. She smiles at Sooyeon and says nothing more. Sooyeon smiles back awkwardly and briefly wonders if Yoona knows something she doesn’t . Could she know about Siwon and Sooyoung?

“I don’t see what’s so special about that Sooyoung,” Sunkyu complains to her maids Taeyeon and Yuri who were seated across her. Sunkyu moves the curtains of the carriage in order to take a peek at their surroundings. “I can’t see my brother anymore, he must have galloped away. Again, what is so special with that girl that he, who is perpetually hated by horses, wants to go horseback riding for her? ”

“Choi Sooyoung-ssi?” Yuri asks and Taeyeon kind of shushes her when Sunkyu narrows her eyes and turns to look at them.

“Who else would I be talking about?” she asked the two who wisely kept their mouths shut. “Idiots,” she muttered under her breath.

“We apologize,” the two mutter in response but Sunkyu pays them no heed.

“What do you know of her?” Sunkyu asks the two. “Surely you two must have heard something about her, aren’t you two often in town? Come to think of it, I barely even see you around the palace grounds.”

Taeyeon gulps and Yuri avoids looking at Sunkyu.

“Yuri-ssi,” Sunkyu says as she catches Yuri in the act of ignoring her. “You’re always out doing errands, don’t you ever hear anything about her?”

Yuri shakes her head. “I’m afraid not, gongjuneun. I haven’t seen any of the Choi’s servants recently, so I’m not informed about her that much these--,” Yuri then stops and her eyes widen as Taeyeon nudges her from the side .

“So you do know something about her,” Sunkyu demands of the two as she sees the two’s fishy interaction. “Tell me, what do you know about her?”

“Not much,” Yuri says, afraid of upsetting Sunkyu. Sunkyu could be a kind gongjuneun at times, but at most times, she was just as cunning and as ruthless as her father. Yuri wouldn’t want to cross any lines.

“And, you, Taeyeon-ssi?” Sunkyu asks and Taeyeon thinks she has to answer this carefully or else she might be looking forward to bathhouse duty for the rest of her life.

“I heard that she was a rather kind lady,” Taeyeon says.

“Go on,” Sunkyu urges her.

“And that she was friendly with the villagers?” Taeyeon answers with a bit of uncertainty.

Sunkyu laughs dryly. “Of course, she’d be like that. What would you expect from someone who has reputations to keep? Besides the council is coming. ”

Taeyeon nods her head, eager to please Sunkyu; but Yuri had other thoughts. Yuri speaks out. “Maybe, you should,” and then she trails off, realizing that she might have been too brave for a moment there, as Sunkyu shoots her a glare that would promise demotion.

“Should what?” Sunkyu asks her and though Yuri doesn’t want to answer her question, something forces her to do so.

“Be more considerate? It would help the Daejang,” Yuri says in a voice barely above a whisper, hoping that Sunkyu would not hear her mumbling and if she does, she hopes he wouldn’t take it too negatively.

“I could do that,” Sunkyu says , not really caring about the two in front of her who are currently afraid of losing their jobs. “But then, I don’t need to. It’s not like my brother isn’t doing enough brownosing for the both of us,” she chuckles and then laughs out loud as she realizes something. “Do you two have no faith in my father’s reign? Surely he won’t let a lowly Jungjang take over his title just because the village favors said Jungjang’s daughter. You two are so naive, and yet so amusing.”

Taeyeon and Yuri can only laugh nervously in response.

It was around half-past two in the afternoon when Sungmin finally arrives in the Choi’s court. Once he was there, he was immediately ushered into the receiving hall where a portrait of the family hangs. He looks around the hall and seeing that he was left alone, he nears the portrait and raises a hand to touch it. Father has taught him not to intrude on other people’s belongings as intruding is a sign of disrespect but all of that flies out of his mind when he sees the portrait up close. It was “Beautiful,” he muttered under his breath as he traces his eyes over Sooyoung’s features. Sooyoung looked regal even as a young gongjuneun wearing a red and gold hwangwonsam. He thinks that she could’ve been around seventeen when the portrait was commissioned, and he also thinks that whatever hwangwonsam his sister Sunkyu could wear would always pale in comparison to Sooyoung’s. The thought of his sister suddenly directs his eyes to the man that stands towering next to Sooyoung in the portrait; it was her brother, Siwon.

Sungmin and Siwon were what people would usually call as friends. They’ve attended the same school and have undergone the same training and even now they are under the same divisions. It was only right that people think that they get along well enough, and they do. But that’s what just what they do, they agree and get along but that doesn’t necessarily make them the best of friends. Everybody knows this though; one would be a fool not to see the rivalry between the two major generals. Young as they are they’ve been recognized for their exceptional skills and there are talks on who’s going to rise in the ranks sooner.

“Sojang Lee,” a voice interrupts his musings. Sungmin turns around and comes face o face with a servant.

“Yes?” he asks her.

“Gongjuneun Choi is resting now, but she requested to see you, if you could please follow me,” she said and without waiting for him to respond, walked out of the room. He was led to an open hallway where he could see his sister and her servants Taeyeon and Yuri being led by one of the court maids towards another building. After a series of turns and a couple of doors, he was finally led to a small library that had a portrait of Sooyoung hanging on the northern wall. “Gonjuneun Choi will be with you in a moment.”

Yoona led gongjuneun Lee to where gongjuneun Jung was currently staying. Sooyoung was nowhere in sight since she told Yoona that she was tired and needed to rest.

“Gongjuneun Jung is staying inside,” Yoona bows before the other.

“I’ll invite myself in then,” Sunkyu replies. “You,” she points to Yoona. “MY servants have some offerings, take care of them,” and with that she dismisses the two who follows Yoona eagerly out of the complex.

Sunkyu opens the door and sees Sooyeon sitting inside, looking at her with what might be a mix between contempt and disinterest. “It’s been far too long since we’ve actually seen each other, my dear cousin,” Sunkyu says with a false sweetness that does not faze Sooyeon at all who motions for her to sit.

Since they weren’t in the Lee’s court and Sooyeon is a guest who would stay over longer than Sunkyu; Sooyeon had a bit of power over Sunkyu who was only here for a brief visit. She only smiles at her in return, as pretentious as Sunkyu was before replying. “I know right, it would’ve been nicer if it was kept that way, wouldn’t it?”

“Indeed,” Sunkyu half-glares at Sooyeon. “What brought you here anyway?”

“Surely not you,” Sooyeon replies and Sunkyu had to bite back a retort about how terribly styled Sooyeon appears.

“Unfortunately I can’t say the same for myself. After all I’d never be in the Choi’s court without my father’s orders. So you, I gathered from father that you have friends here with the Choi’s? Surely it can’t be the gongjuneun Choi would it?” she asks.

“Actually, it is gongjuneun Choi I am friends with. Far better company compared to your’s if you ask me.”

Sungmin removes his gat as soon as Sooyoung steps out of her room and into the libray. He is mildly surprised to see her short hair framing her face freely instead of the braided gache which most females that time seemed to prefer to wear. She didn’t have her face made-up either, which was a bit refreshing for him. The last time he had visited her, she wouldn’t even want a hair out of place in her gache; he thinks that she must be really tired today for she didn’t bother to fix herself, but for him, he would’ve preferred it this way.

He stands up and meets her halfway in a hug, Sooyoung’s attendant having been dismissed earlier. “Sooyoung-ah,” he says as he brings her closer to him by the waist. “I’ve missed you.”

Sooyoung returns the hug and closes her eyes as she lets Sungmin’s musk invade her senses. “It has been a long time, Sungmin,” she smiles at him as he releases her from his hold. “How many moons have passed since I’ve last seen you? You were always so busy with your duties,” she says.

“I have, haven’t I?” he smiles at her and they open the doors that lead to the veranda. They sit on the bench and Sooyoung huddles close to him. “I’ve been a bad friend to you,” he says as he lets her head fall on his shoulder.

Sungmin knew from the very first time that he has seen Sooyoung that he is in love with her and that the only girl that would be worth wooing is her. But then, Sooyoung was no ordinary girl. It wasn’t easy to woo her for one, there is always that big brother o f his, Siwon who was watchful of his younger sister; and two, Sungmin just didn’t know how he would make his intentions clear without scaring her off. They were young, he was just a kid and so was Sooyoung at that time so he settled for being close friends with her.

“It’s a good thing that I’ve brought you pastries from our baker,” Sungmin says and Sooyoung instantly perks up at that.

“You did? Where is it?” Sooyoung asks and feels around Sungmin’s clothes for the treat. He stops her wondering hands making her pout in return.

“It’s with the servants,” he says as he chuckles at the sight of Sooyoung deflating at his words.

“And just like that, my happiness is taken away,” she dramatically says.

He laughs out loud. “You still have me,” he says patting himself on his shoulders. “Come on,” he pulls her head near him and once again she is leaning against him. “Tell me everything I’ve missed.”

She smiles, thanking the gods that her bad day has turned for the better with Sungmin by her side. She then forgets about Siwon and all the things that cloud her mind and then proceeds to tell Sungmin of her new friend Hyoyeon the apothecary’s daughter and all the things he would love to hear about.

With Siwon, Sooyoung always felt wary, guarded and never enough. Siwon wasn’t bad, but he wasn’t good in her eyes wither. He was perfect, and even if they were not related by blood she always felt this pressure to become as well-liked as him. But with Sungmin, she doesn’t feel restricted. She feels like she was the old Sooyoung who would spend her days in the field singing and dancing, not the present Sooyoung who had a reputation to keep.

“And then she told me I could try it and so I did,” she says as she remembers the day she spent with Hyoyeon in the apothecaries . “I didn’t know that I was supposed to include lemongrass in it though. And then when I drank it, it was terrible. It smelled really nice and delicious and I thought it’d taste the sae but it was horrible!” she exclaimed. “Oh gods, I am never going to do that again. And thus, concludes the tale of Choi Sooyoung not knowing how to cook or to prepare anything at all in her life!” she says laughing along with Sungmin who was smiling widely at her.

At that moment, Sooyoung laughing and telling jokes about herself unlike any other self-respecting lady would not do, Sungmin realized something; he needs her in his life. He holds her shoulders and makes her face him; there is a bit of confusion in her eyes but her laughter more than covers for the momentary confusion. And then in an instant, Sungmin’s lips is on hers. Pressing firmly against her own and yet it was a gentle and warm gesture. A kiss unlike the kisses she has received from Siwon. Before she could even respond to him, he pulls back and cups her face into his hands.

“I don’t need you to learn to cook, I just need you.”

“Father,” Sooyoung speaks up. “Has Daejang Lee said anything to you?” she asks as she watches him place his spoon down.

“I’ve heard about his son visiting you while I was gone,” he replies and at that Siwon looks up from his dinner. “You’re doing a good job, Sooyoung. I think you’ve also charmed his father. He was always talking about how Sungmin and you would look good together in portraits,” he chuckles and Sooyoung smiles at that.

“He visited her and I didn’t know?” Siwon butts in. “When was this and why was I not informed?”

Sooyoung looks at Siwon as if he has grown another head and wonders why he cares so much. “He did visit me , not you. I don’t see why he had to inform you of that,” she says with contempt in her voice as she suddenly recalls what he did earlier that day. Siwon only looks at her.

Their father does not pay them any attention though as he suddenly speaks. “It’d be such a shame though if something happens to his son. But I’m sure our Sooyoungie would never ever cause that right?” he says and looks at her as he smirks.

Sooyung sits on the floor, reading a book on the apothecary weight system. She’s always been interested in medicine and these things, meeting and befriending Hyoyeon only furthered her interest. Someone knocks on the door as she scribbles down the tools used for different herbs. “Come in,” she says , not even bothering to look up from her reading thinking that it’s only one of her servants or Yoona.

“I’m marrying Miyoung,” Siwon says and sits down before her.

“Who’s Miyoung?” she asks, not taking him seriously at all.

“My betrothed,” he answers her. “If you care about me at all, you would stop whatever it is you’re having with Sungmin and protest to father.”

She looks up from her writing. “Get out , Siwon.”

“There will be a banquet announcing our betrothal,” he continues. “The Lee’s will be there. It’s just one word, Sooyoung.”

“I don’t care,” Sooyoung says and looks at him straight in the eye. “I love Sungmin, not you, Siwon,” she says and even to her she sounds a bit unsure. “You can marry Miyoung and I wouldn’t care, as long as you and father won’t touch me or Sungmin. Tell him, tell father I want to stop fooling Sungmin and just let us be,” she pleads.

“I can’t do that.”

“You can’t?” she repeats. “You say you love me and then you tell me you are going to marry someone else. I’m saying I want you to stop this nonsense because we can’t do this and you know that it’s true because this wrong on so many levels. You need to marry Miyoung to get her father’s favors. I need Sungmin, Siwon. I just need him, don’t take this away from me too by letting father do something to him.”

“I don’t care,” he echoes her initial response with finality and Sooyoung wonders how it has shifted, wasn’t he the one who had asked her for a favour first? “Whatever father does to him is not my problem nor is it my causing.”

Sooyoung grows anxious as the days to the banquet get fewer. While everybody else in the court are looking forward to the announcement and celebration, she wasn’t. She could only think of how her father or Siwon could potentially hurt Sungmin once this is over with. She doesn’t talk to Siwon in fear that she might give up and tell him not marry Miyoung, the words he’s been dying to hear, just so she can save Sungmin. She knows what those words meant. To Siwon, it would mean that he’ll be playing fair and convincing his father to let Sungmin off the hook . But letting Sungmin off the hook, does that even guarantee his safety?

She finds herself walking towards Siwon’s studies and she pauses before the door, deciding whether she should talk to him or not. But what should she even say to him?

“Sooyoung? Did you want to talk to me?” the door opens and Siwon appears in front of her. “I have to go so make it quick. And no, I won’t plead to father,” he says as he starts walking and she follows him. “I only want you to say you don’t want this.”

“Do you even love Miyoung?” she suddenly asks making Siwon stop in his tracks. “Everybody is excited and happy for you two. They’re all doing their best.”

“No,” he answers. “Because I love someone else,” he looks at her meaningfully.

“Does she know?” she asks.

“She doesn’t care about this,” he said. “Do you honestly think you’re the only one being forced to do things around here?” he asks her and she doesn’t answer. “You’re stupid and selfish for thinking that.”

“I don’t know,Yoona,” Sooyoung says as Yoona fixes a binyeo in her hair. Yoona turns Sooyoung’s face to the left to put some more color on her right cheek. “I have a feeling that something bad will happen tonight.”

“You’re being pessimistic,” Yoona chides her as she fixes Sooyoung’s git. She makes her turn around to face the mirror so she could see herself. Sooyoung was wearing a blue-green jeogori with a pale gold jokki and a bright blue silk chima. “But you look very beautiful. Nothing bad can happen to you when you look this good.” Sooyoung only smiles at her in response, but she can’t deny the fact that yoona’s words do not reassure her in anyway.

“Such a shame isn’t it,” Sunkyu says as she walks with Sungmin around the hall where the banquet was held. “Miyoung could’ve been the one you are betrothed to and she’s such a nice girl, we’d get along well enough.”

Sungmin only shakes his head in response. “You don’t like her?” Sunkyu asks. “Oh well, there always is Seo Juhyun, am I not right?”

“Noona, I don’t like any of your friends that way,” he says. “Let’s just enjoy the banquet, okay?”

Sooyoung goes to the veranda as soon as her father finishes introducing her to all his comrades. She was tired and she really couldn’t handle seeing the show Siwon is putting up. She tells herself that she isn’t disgusted by it because she’s jealous but because she hates how Siwon could act like that. She sits down on the floor, not caring if her chima gets ruined in the process.

“You were the most beautiful girl out there,” a voice startles her and she looks around just to see Siwon taking a seat next to her on the floor.

“Where’s Miyoung?” she asks him.

“Talking to people she invited,” he answers. She hums in acknowledgement.

“You’re going to get married,” she says when the silence becomes too unbearable for her.

“Yes, and I’m still waiting for it,” he replies. “Aren’t you going to say it?” he looks at her and this time Sooyoung can’t see any trace of a conniving man that Siwon has grown into but a picture of the old Siwon she loved.

She shakes her head in response. I want to but I can’t, she thinks. Siwon’s heart falls as he watches her stand her ground. He moves closer to her and cups her face. “A kiss before I get tied up?” he asks her but before Sooyoung could even say no , his lips descend upon hers.

The kiss was gentle at first and Sooyoung was vaguely reminded of the kisses she’s shared with Sungmin. The thought of Sungmin made her want to stop Siwon, but her hands are frozen on Siwon’s chest. He deepens the kiss, forgetting the fact that he only asked for a moment, not when he’s too lost in her taste. She doesn’t find it in her to stop him from doing so, kissing back as eager as he was. In her mind, she repeats that she doesn’t love him. But repetition doesn’t necessarily imply truth and truthful she never was.

Sooyoung didn’t know when she closed her eyes but she suddenly opens them as she feels Siwon getting pulled away from her. And then, she sees Sungmin on top of Siwon, pummelling him hard. Sungmin might be smaller than Siwon but he is not a major general for nothing. He has Siwon pinned on the ground, and Siwon would’ve easily punched him cold if his hands weren’t seated on by Sungmin.

“Sungmin-ah!” she shouts as she tries to pull Sungmin off Siwon, but Sungmin wouldn’t budge as he continues to punch Siwon repeatedly on his face. “Sunkyu-ssi, help me ,” she pleads as her eyes fall on Sungmin’s sister standing , just watching the scene unfolding in front of her.

Sunkyu walks towards them carefully, trying to avoid the flailing limbs, before bending down to face Sooyoung.

“You’re disgusting,” she says before spitting right in her face. “You and your brother deserve this,” she says before she leaves, probably off to find someone.

Sooyoung sits frozen. Unable to move and process things, if not for Sungmin screaming as Siwon finally rolls him off him and pushes him to the ground, she would not have stood up to pry Siwon off him.

“Siwon-ah,” she says as she pulls on Siwon’s shoulders to stop him from beating up Sungmin. His face was a bit swollen and his lower lip has been busted. It was such a contrast to his regal clothes. What would Miyoung say if he saw her husband like this? What would Miyoung say if she knew what they were fighting about? “You told me you’d never hurt him.”

Siwon finally gets off Sungmin, he turns to look at Sooyoung. “And you tell me you love this guy,” he spats in Sungmin’s direction. “When he seems to be uncultured.”

Sungmin tched. “Uncultured? And what do I call you two?” he hisses at them, his lips bloodied from Siwon’s punches. He looks at Sooyoung and she is startled to see tears running down on his face. “How long have you been at this? How long have you been hiding this from me, Sooyoung?” he advances at her but Siwon gets in the way. For the second time in her life, Sooyoung feels legitimately scared.

“Don’t speak to her like that,” Siwon angrily snaps at Sungmin as he takes a swing at him which Sungmin easily avoids.

“And what about you, and Miyoung?” Sungmin turns to him. “You’re disgusting,” he continues and then turns to Sooyoung. “I can’t believe I love you,” he says and then he leaves.

“Sungmin!” she says running towards him but he only runs farther away from her. “Sungmin, I’m so, so sorry,” she whispers as she watches him run further and further away.

Sooyoung turns around and sees Siwon doubling over in pain. She rushes to his side and helps him but he pushes her away. Confused she asks him why he would do that.

“The moment you ran towards Sungmin was the moment you made a choice,” he says as he wipes the blood from his face. “And you’re an idiot for doing that. Do you think he’d still want you after what he saw?” he says and then he laughs and Sooyoung feels confused. “An idiot.” He stands up and leaves her in the dark hallway.

Sooyoung touches her face, it was wet but it wasn’t wet with tears but with perspiration and Sunkyu’s spit. Her makeup must be ruined now, she thinks. What would Yoona say when she sees her like this? She wonders why she isn’t crying. She can’t cry now. She used to do that before her father died, but her father’s death must have drained her of all the tears. She stands up and decides to ditch the banquet, she has no more face to show the people anyway, and then she makes her way to her room.

While the Lucifer is at its zenith, they say bad luck comes to people who welcome it. Sooyoung lays awake in her bed, watching the skies through her windows. She thinks it’s fascinating that there seems to be two moons tonight. She rouses from her bed and walks over to the window.

“Beautiful night, isn’t it?” she asks no one in particular as her eyes fall on the sight of the mugunghwa shrubs that are blooming under the moonlight. She turns around and heads for her bed. She kneels just before it and proceeds to cop a feel under her pillow. She finally finds a flask that was given to her by Hyoyeon days ago. She could recall Hyoyeon telling her that it would make her feel better.

Sooyoung heads off for the library’s gardens. She hopes that nobody has seen her leave as she fingers the inside of her jokki for the small flask. It’s still here, she breathes a sigh of relief. In the pale moonlight, her blue chima and golden jokki would be easily visible and catch the attention of people, but she was sure that everybody else was enjoying the feast laid out for them. Taking care not to alert any of the guards on duty’s attention, she slips past the gates and goes inside. She walks towards the mugunghwa shrubs where she , Sooyeon and Yoona stayed in just a few weeks ago and to her the memory feels like it’s been an eternity . She briefly wonders is Yoona knows what happened, and then realizes that it’s better if she doesn’t.

She raises the flask against the moon’s rays and she is momentarily amazed at its light blue color. The bottle looked like it held a piece of a sunny sky. And then she smashes the flask against the stone bench. Picking up a large shard of glass, she cuts through her wrist carefully and lets all the blood drip into the flask. She should be careful not to have any of the contents spilled or else everything will be ruined, she recalls Hyoyeon’s words. Sometimes, it pays to have friends that were into things that they shouldn’t be into.

As soon as her wound stops bleeding, she bring the small flask to her nose to sniff it, she is pleasantly surprised that the concoction doesn’t seem to smell too bad. In fact, it smells wonderful and she just couldn’t wait to take it.

And take it, Sooyoung did.

They said nothing good comes to people who welcome the rise of Lucifer to the zenith. That only works for ordinary people. Sooyoung is no ordinary person,she is the daughter o the Lucifer,the one who was never meant to enjoy life. But for the kin of Lucifer, the rise to the zenith only meant two things, peace and closure. And for Sooyoung, that’s what she gets; and a lot more as she swallows the final drop of the serum.


I feel like I’ve become a clown trapped in a glass castle......

Hyoyeon walks around the library’s gardens undetected. She wasn’t invited to the banquet but she feels that this night would be a night to remember. She sees a circle of mugunghwa shrubs in the middle of the garden and she finds herself going there, entranced by the way the Lucifer’s light illuminates it.

She knows about it, the night of the Lucifer. Such a pity the Choi’s didn’t, she thinks as she looks in the general direction of the banquet hall. She sighs and almost sits on the stone bench when he catches sight of a flask and a doll on the grass. The flask seems familiar, she thinks as she bends down to retrieve both. She recalls it to be the flask she has given Sooyoung. She then looks at the doll and she is amazed at how beautiful it looks, the golden jokki fits the blue-green jeotgori perfectly, plus the stirking blue of the doll’s chima was a sure sign that this doll was made after a royalty.

“Sooyoung-ah,” she says with a smile as she combs the doll’s hair affectionately. “You were always too pretty to be a clown.”

Her whisper is the Lucifer...

Miyoung knows. Miyoung knew from the start that Siwon would never love her because Siwon was still in love with another person. She doesn’t mind it of course, because she got the better part of the deal. She becomes the new Choi gongjuneun, the previous gongjuneun having mysteriously disappeared. It was odd that only the servants grieved her disappearance, but Siwon and his father didn’t.

“Miyoung-ah, what are you thinking?” Siwon asks her as he lays on bed next to her.

“Nothing,” she smiles and turns around to face him. “I love you,” she says.

Siwon only hums in response.

He never responded to her words, but Miyoung knew that next time would be another try at a shot to Siwon’s heart and it doesn’t faze her. Didn’t people say that the strongest woman had this way with words that would prove to become true later on?

“Oh don’t you look so good together with Juhyun?” Sunkyu squeals as she watches Juhyun and Sungmin pose together for a portrait. Sungmin nods stiffly in response while Juhyun only smiles shyly. “You’ll live a good life with her,” she says and Sungmin has a feeling that it would be true, but why does he dread it so much?


*Daejang-highest-ranked general
*Jungjang- lieutenant general, in line for the Daejang.
*Chunjang- brigadier general , fourth in command.
*Hwangwongsam- everyday clothing of a female member of the royal family.
*Mugunghwa- national flower of Korea
*Gache-big wig
*Gat-bamboo hat worn by officials

August 22 2011

SJ last man standing
Everything has to be the bestSuper Junior is only missing the ‘man’ from the name of ‘superman’Our passion is the best and our concentration is the bestWho would be able to say we’ve finishedSuper...
LeeteukHeechulYesungSungminDonghaeSiwonRyeowookKyuhyun//reupload of [link] plus the individual wallpapers. //i uploaded this because i like to share stuff.
SJ superman
LeeteukHeechulYesungShindongSungminEunhyukDonghaeSiwonRyeowookKyuhyunSuper Junior is the Super Man

August 15 2011

IGP up baller
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